The Queen Of Subtleness Herself: Lily Evans
by SugarHi Marauders
Summary: Lily is writing down her ingenious and cunning thoughts, plans and pranks in a random book on the floor. Experience Lily and the Marauder's exciting adventurefilled third year through Lily's journal. Marauder Lily humor. Review!


**A/N: You guys are probably ready to kill me and Trish right now cuz we didn't update '_Sugar Quills, Anyone?' _for the longest time. We're sorry, but we're working on it! Anyway, I thought of this story right before I went to sleep and decided to write it. REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: Must we go through this again? I'm not J. K. Rowling. You want proof? I bet Mrs. Rowling, writing extraordinaire, doesn't love chocolate as much as I do, or oranges! So go soak your head in some orange juice, you lawyers who have nothing better to do, than look for innocent little kids who would tear people apart to get some chocolate! **

_I love writing disclaimers. Have any one of you noticed that?_

_Anyway, ON WITH THE STORY!_

**The Queen of Subtleness Herself (Or So I Think): Lily Evans**

**By: Sheri who is a sucker for chocolate and oranges**

**Saturday, December 21 – 6:45 a.m.**

Hello random book on the floor! You are lucky that I found you on the floor and decided to use you in my newly thought up plan.

I have a gazillion diaries/journals upstairs but I don't want to get them. Now you might call this third year a lazy person. But it's all part of the plan.

You see, Potter has been extremely out of his head lately… for the past year. Instead of pranking me or trying to humiliate me or something that results in me throwing him out the window when the window is still closed; he annoys me to no end, asking me to go out with him, which results in me yelling at him, rejecting him and punching him square in the nose.

Just kidding. I don't punch him in the nose…but I wish I could without getting a detention.

So who is this James 'I wanna go stick my head in hippogriff crap' Potter, you ask?

I can describe him in one word: apcabsiup. It means an annoying, pompous, cocky, arrogant, boastful, self-absorbed, idiotic, useless prat.

I've given it much thought.

Anyway, back to the plan. Since Potter is unfortunately who he is, he's going to want to know what I'm writing in you. So somehow, he's going to marauder his way over to you and read you. But all he'll find is what I truly think of him.

MUH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA----

HOLD ON A SECOND!

If I tell you the plan and then "prick" reads it…. THEN HE'LL KNOW THE PLAN!

Darn, I never was one for planning. I'll think more about his later. I'm too tired. Natalie Riekart snores so loud! So, I couldn't sleep and came down to the common room, and found you. And I definitely can't go back up to the blasted room.

Sigh

I guess I'll tell you why I have a gazillion books. You see, ever since I learned how to write, I have been bombarded with diary after diary, journal after journal, because they thought that I would right down my thoughts instead of saying them.

I don't know why, but get this.

People think that I talk way too much and that I have an attention span of a drunken purple octopus!

HA! I dunno where these people get these…

I want some chocolate. Maybe a chocolate sundae, or a chocolate cake, or Ben and Jerry's Belgium Dark Chocolate Ice Cream or maybe oranges.

Hold on…

**Same day, 7: 57 a.m.**

Turns out they had none of the things I wanted! NONE! Not even the oranges! I was going to blame it on Potter, until I saw McGonagall stuffing her face with oranges. Oh, she got a glare from me all right. But then Dumbledore chuckled. Oh how I would glare at him too, if he didn't have the invincible power of kicking me out of this place.

Anyway, then I stormed out of the Great Hall, thinking of ways to turn some object into chocolate. Too bad that won't work. You know why? Cause I suck at Transfiguration. I wish I could make chocolate, I thought still walking.

Then I thought _'THE KITCHENS!' _

Great idea isn't it? Finding chocolate in the kitchens? Well, just when I thought the plan was flawless, I remembered that I had no clue where the kitchens were.

Darn Dumbledore's secrecy skills! Nobody would able to find the kitchens except… the Marauders!

HA! I'm brilliant! I amaze myself at my brilliantness! WOO-HOO! I GET SOME CHOC---!

DARN! I just remembered that I hate the Marauder's guts. sigh

_Remus is spotted walking down the hall_

I hate everyone except Remus! Cause Remus is my buddy 'ol pal whom I will throw into a black hole if he doesn't give me chocolate.

Can you tell that I'm desperate?

Well, I'm gonna talk to him and if I remember, then I'll tell you the results later, ok?

Over and out!

After I spotted my prey, I silently walked behind him. Then I tapped him on the shoulder. Never in my life have I heard a boy scream that high-pitched. It was as if Hagrid was gonna fall from the sky right on top of him!

"Calm down Remus, it's me!" I said.

"Oh! Whew… you didn't have to scare me like that ya know!" Remus said getting back the color in his cheeks.

"I know!" I said cheerfully.

He looked at me oddly and then asked "What do you want?"

He is way too good.

"I want chocolate."

"Chocolate?"

"Yes. McGonagall ate the oranges."

"Oh."

"Yea."

Silence.

"So?" He asked.

"So what?"

"What do you want me to do?

"About what?"

"About the chocolate you wanted!"

"What chocolate?"

"OH MY GOODNESS! You have the attention span of a drunken purple octopus!"

Where have I heard that before?

"Where are the kitchens?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"The kitchens."

"Why?"

"Cause I want ice cream."

"But I thought you wanted--- never mind, I'm not going to tamper with your mind." Remus said waving it off.

I gasped.

"You're trying to tamper with my mind?"

"WHAT? NO WA---!"

"So where are those noodles?"

"What noo--?"

"Or maybe some candy canes!"

"Candy ca---?"

"Darn, its not Christmas time yet!"

"Yes it---!"

"SHUT UP!" A new voice said.

We both turned to see none other than James ' I wanna go stick my head in hippogriff crap again' Potter's right hand man Sirius Black standing there wearing his hot pink Barbie boxers and HUGE blue shirt. I mean huge! Like 'I could live in there huge'!

Remus coughed.

I stared.

Sirius yawned.

"Why are you wearing Barbie boxers?" I asked Sirius warily.

"Some girl---" Sirius started.

"I DON'T want to hear anymore!" Remus yelled.

"Whatever." Sirius said yawning.

"Why are you wearing a big blue shirt?" I asked.

"Cuz in my sleep I saw a blue disco room, but blue lights, and then a fake giraffe ran across the disco room and then I got into a blue (_not sad)_ mood." Sirius stated.

I gasped.

"I HAD THE SAME DREAM!" I said.

He woke up and said "REALLY?"

"Yea!"

"Wow!"

"OH- my – goodness." Remus said walking away.

I didn't care. Sirius is a Marauder too. He can be a part of my plan.

Why?

He is dimwitted. Reeeeaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyy dimwitted.

He is a Marauder.

He is now my dream buddy.

And most importantly….because I am the queen of subtleness... or is it subtlety?

**A/N: So….how did you like it? I don't know whether this should be a one-shot or a story with more chapters. REVIEW! And tell me your opinion, or I'll get rid of this story! So please review!**

**A/N #2: I wrote this story by the way, not Trish or Cally. And I suggest you wonderful readers check out our profile, because I guarantee you will learn a lot about us and will get a laugh or two for sure!**

**A/N #3: I had a dream about a blue disco room, but a fake giraffe running across it. Really I did. It was freaky, and my friend was sleeping over, and she got all worried. I was trying to save the giraffe from hitting its head. I don't know if it hit it though. I feel into a deep sleep then. No, I didn't become unconscious. Remember to Review! Any kind is accepted. **


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